Deployment #4 – Update

Life has been a whirlwind lately.

Sarge left on Deployment #4 at the beginning of March.  As I wrote in “Its Ok To Not Be Ok”, this deployment just seemed off from the very beginning.  From the kids and I having a weird Disneyland trip to feeling like Sarge and I were not only in separate countries, but more like separate planets because our schedules rarely aligned where the other one of us was awake for longer than a quick “update on life-I love you – need to sleep” conversation.

It was a Wednesday morning, in the last week of March when I woke up startled, and searched for my phone while trying not to wake a sleeping Anakin beside me.  It was just past 7am. We had said our “talk to you soon” farewells several hours before and a couple hours after that came the “heading out, I love you” text.  He hadn’t sent his “Safe. I love you” text signaling his safe return to base yet, which meant he was late.

Sarge and I had had a decent conversation the night before.  We had gone into this deployment with the idea that we would plan for extension as the quick turns of these deployments just aren’t working well for our family dynamic.  We’d done 10 months before, so doing 9-10 months this time would be better than 2 goodbyes within the same time span, or so we thought.  Once he got there, it was harder than we expected… something was different this time.  We discussed and prayed about whether or not putting in for an extension was the right thing for our family.  We had to decide before I left for Arizona and my big cross country road trip with the kids, so it was easy to set the deadline — 2 weeks.  We would think about it, pray about it, and discuss it and decide within the next 2 weeks.

The kids woke up and we got our day started…    breakfast, playtime on the deck, and we cleaned the playroom.  I checked my phone to be sure I hadn’t missed something from him. The day crawled on and eventually a text came in from him.  He apologized for being late, said he was safe and had a Commander’s briefing and would call after.  At least I could breathe again, but something in me still didn’t feel quite like everything was right.  2 or 3 hours went by…  another text saying he had to meet with his First Shirt to take care of some “stuff” and he’d explain later.  *sigh*  ok…   As frustrated as I was because I needed to talk to him, and it was holding up my day a bit because I didn’t know when he’d call and leaving my house meant no cell phone service because of the errand I needed to run, I reminded myself that he was safe and he always calls when he can.  More hours crept by and I don’t even know how many it was, but I remember around 2pm I looked at my phone and thought well, he’ll probably end up on ground duty tomorrow or maybe have a day off at this point because unless he went to sleep without calling {he wouldn’t do that} he’s blown his crew rest completely.

It was around 3pm when he finally called and said “I guess you should be more specific with your prayers, honey…  I broke my elbow and sprained my ankle really bad.  I’m coming home.”

WHAT?!?!

I don’t remember the specifics of the conversation beyond that very well to be honest. All I could focus on was how unbelievable it was that when I woke up that morning we were facing 8 months left apart and I was wondering if we’d ever find our groove for this deployment, and by the end of naptime we knew he was coming home instead.  It still didn’t feel real, but as I went to bed that night I remember reflecting on how we had been so certain of what we thought was best for our family when he left.  And how uncertain we had become as we started our days apart…  how we had cried out to God, separately, begging Him to show us if this longer stretch of time was His will for our family or not.  God showed us pretty clearly exactly where He wanted our family for this season…  together.

Homecoming – Deployment #4 – April 2014